Age appropriate definitions in Greek Myths

It was defining “virgin” and “rape” that got me thinking about this. If I recall, and I can’t check because I’m still in the boonies of Latin America, even D’Aulaire’s couldn’t avoid using that language, because there’s no pussyfooting around the fact that sex – mostly varying degrees of non-consensual sex – is at the root of a LOT of those stories. No Classical education is complete without the story of Persephone, for example, and there’s a ton more.

When I – briefly – taught comparative (strong on the Greek angle) mythology to middle schoolers, I wasn’t allowed to bring in paintings by Peter Paul Rubens to show my class, but I didn’t even think about bringing up the subject of rape and virginity, of castration or infidelity. These things ARE Greek myths. And I assumed – though perhaps I shouldn’t have – that all of my students had a basic working understanding of these concepts.

My 9-year-old niece got D’Aulaire’s for Christmas last year, and so it surprised me that when I started retelling her some of the stories here she had to stop me to ask me “what’s a virgin?” and then later, “what’s rape?” I’m so friggin’ sex-ed-positive that it didn’t occur to me that the underlying question – “what’s sex?” – had not been answered yet.

I am secretly horrified that her introduction to these concepts came through such violent and patriarchal storytelling and I am (again) struck by the ever-presence of sex and violence in the world kids live in. It seems like an incredibly persuasive reason to start educating your kids about sex – and whatever positive values you can offer – from an early age. But given that I think Greek myths should ALSO be introduced at an early age, how can I address the sexual values contained therein? With my own children, I imagine that conversations about cultural conceptions of sex will be taking place as soon as they can understand them (I got that from my own feminist mother in an “age-appropriate” way from an early age, and that’s a good part of the reason that I started Women in Greek Myths), but what the heck do I do with kids that aren’t mine?

Any thoughts are very welcome.